date: Tuesday, May 12, 2009 @ 11:08 AM
title:
Sometimes I feel like is very very contradicting.
In my case, Im going thru shit. I hope I will get thru this period quickly again.
Perhaps it is retribution in a way.
To all those who know why, is this really what you call a pay back?
At times when I feel I have already moved on with my life, I moved on with life without benjamin. But when such things happen, I feel Im at wits ends. I feel very very helpless.
Everyone has been telling me is good and better this way, I can move on after so long and there is stil old man around.
You know initally when I knew the truth,
it was more of angry den upset. I hated his lies and how the way he turned the table around. it's always like this. And it happens in all the relationships.
As a day or two went by, I felt really really upset. This is not what ben will do. But men are still men....they lust....they play...well no matter how trustworthy yr guy is nv ever ever trust him more then yrself!
No matter how nice old man is to me,
deep down I know I still love the lazy bum.
I told myself it is over and is really time to move on,
but I still find myself msg-ing him, msn-ing him calling him,
despite what he did.
girls are girls,
very vulnerable, very silly and very stupid.
in my case, Im dumb.
I take it as a tit for tat.
I asked myself,
after what he did, am i still willing to go back to him?
and I cant find an answer.
what am I to do?